so...
Sad to say the second time we met was totally awful. Anyway, it was an opportunity to introspect myself at the end I thought... I think we exchanged a bit about the faiths we believe in, but at that time I felt the talking was more like a competition than sharing ideas. Maybe it is because I was also aggressive then, keeping trying to deny you. No offensive and sorry because that is probably the way I feel I exist. I hope you didn't feel that uncomfortable since I didn't mean to do so.
So trying to attack a person who completely trust you, didn't expect that and I felt a large sorrow for myself after I took your perspective. I felt hopeless to my life and thought I have done everything wrong for the pass several years although you said there is no right and wrong. Now I look back the previous post I wrote, it's so ridiculous I trust you so completely. (Fuck you.)
Thankfully I have so many great people around me and they helped me to find the way out. Probably I should also be grateful I got the trigger that I can be objective to my own philosophy. Now I learned, I was trying to make everything in control, which is probably greedy and naive since the world is irrational. But at least I can focus on my own and be responsible for myself, and that know that no one is responsible for your feeling and follow the way you expect. It's already amazing you can control yourself. Give yourself a thumb up when you make it.
Love the doodle Tabea showed me in Schwerin
before I took the train back to Aachen.
